Constellations

by Chris Wei

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06:30
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03:11
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04:00
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02:30
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02:49

credits

released September 29, 2016

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Chris Wei Provo, Utah

Chris Wei loves film and therapy and art and adorable baby animals and theology and you.

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Track Name: In Your Home
Verse 1: I went to your house for the first time in years. Didn’t know what to feel, I had my fair share of fears. I knocked on your door three times, you asked me what I wanted. At first I didn’t respond, you see I hadn’t thought that I’d be wanted. But eventually, I—eventually—hesitantly, I recited my vows. And you held me in your arms. Yes, you held me in your arms. And you whispered to my heart, as you held me in your arms and said “it’s gonna be fine.”

Verse 2: I asked for your help for the first time in years. Didn’t know what to say, I had my fair share of fears. I called out your name three times, are you listening at all? Your response was “of course, you see I hear you every time you call.” And immediately, you—immediately—without hesitancy, you accepted my vows. And you said not to believe all that they say about you. You said they’ve taken it too far, as you held me in your arms and said “it’s gonna be fine.”

Bridge: Are we strong enough to make more from this? Have we waited long enough in this moment of grief? If everything’s the same, can we atone for this? Are you ashamed or disappointed in me? Are we strong enough to make more from this? Have we waited long enough in this moment of grief? If everything has changed, can we atone for this? Are you ashamed or disappointed in me?

Chorus: All I wanted was to feel at home in your home. I just wanted you to shelter me from the storm. All I wanted was to know like I wasn’t alone. All I wanted was to feel at home in your home.
Track Name: Constellations
Verse 1: Could I have my faith in you, without knowing how to show you? Could I take a break from you without feeling that I owe you? If I fall in love despite all my reservations, could I turn these stars into a constellation?

Verse 2: I wish you and I were mended; I wish all of this were fair. If only this weren’t how it ended, as you call me a betrayer. If I could just stay face despite all your accusations, I could turn these stars into a constellation.

Verse 3: If I played on my piano, would you join with your guitar? Would this just be a fiasco, would we even make it very far? If you held my hand, could we find some revelation? Could we turn these stars into a constellation?

Chorus: Patterns in the night, from tiny sparks of light. I know this isn’t wrong, but it doesn’t feel quite right. How did you convince yourself to quit? And how can I make sense of all of this?
Track Name: I'll Be Damned
Verse 1: Do you know what you do to me? How can I get through to you? I don’t know how you can’t see, maybe this is new to you.

Verse 2: Do you know what you want with me? I don’t know what I want from you. But did you know you’re taunting me every time I talk to you?

Verse 3: Do you know what you’ve done to me? Maybe this was fun for you. I’m gonna count from one to three, and then I’m gonna run from you.

Refrain: All I am, I was offering, offering to you. Now I’ll be damned before I ever fall in love with you.
Track Name: What If?
What if—what if—what if we were together? I ain’t got room for that in my mind. I know there was a chance, we could have been together. I’m not deaf, and I’m not blind. And I know that your mother wanted us to be together. Lord only knows, maybe she was right. But when you ask me “what if—what if we were together?” this conversation’s a waste of time.
Track Name: Handwriting
The authors died thousands of years ago. Handwriting’s still there on the wall. I’m not sure why. It’s like a miracle. Their writing saved me from the Fall.
Track Name: Please Don't Close The Door
Verse 1: I know this probably sounds insane, and just a little bit naïve. But I never feel more comfortable in my own skin than when you’re spending time with me.

Verse 2: I consider you a friend, and I consider you a love. But if you ask me “should this end, or should we meet again?” I might say yes to both of the above.

Verse 3: I know there’s nothing we can do, and I know I’m sounding like a fool. But I never feel at peace with who I am like I do when I’m spending time with you.

Refrain: You don’t have to stay the night, but linger just a moment more. And you don’t have to make any promises right now, but please don’t close the door.
Track Name: Tired Of Dreams
Verse 1: I don’t want to fight with you, I know you’ve been through Hell. I just want to do right by you. I’m only trying to help. You’re only a child, I know, but you’re almost a man. And you have got nowhere to go, with nothin’ but a card in your hand.

Verse 2: Do you understand the fear you put us through? We thought we’d find you dead. Do have a plan of what you’re gonna do? What’s going through your head? You’re trying to cope with loss. You hope to break chains. But you’re burning every bridge you come across, and fire’s hard to contain.

Outro: I don’t understand who you are, or why you want to leave. But I’m tired of having nightmares about your dreams. I don’t understand where you’ll go, or who you want to be. But I’m tired of having nightmares about your dreams.
Track Name: God Only Knows
Verse 1: When you look into my eyes, it’s like you’re trying to ignore the pain. And when you pretend to apologize, we both know nothing’s gonna change. What have you done? What have you done, oh, God only knows. What have you done? What have you become—oh—God only knows!

Verse 2: When we first met, we were so young. We knew no guilt, we knew no joy. We were only tryin’ to have fun. You were just a girl, I was just a boy. What have we done? What have we done, oh, God only knows. What have we done? What have we become—oh—God only knows!

Verse 3: When I said I loved you, I loved myself. I’d gotten caught up in the fantasy. I didn’t care about anyone else. I didn’t think this could happen to me. What have I done? What have I done, oh, God only knows. What have I done? What have I become—oh—God only knows!
Track Name: Deborah
Verse 1: You taught me how to listen. You taught me how to see the other side in every interaction. You taught me how to swallow all my pride.

Verse 2: You taught me to be patient. You taught me how to turn the other cheek. You taught me to work hard. And help those who are in need.

Verse 3: You taught me to be thoughtful. I’m grateful for your heart, your soul, and your mind. You taught me to be caring. You taught me to be honest, brave, and kind.

Refrain: I don’t know how to thank you for everything that you have done. And I don’t know how to repay you. You give so much to everyone.
Track Name: End Of The Movie
Verse 1: People you love will turn their backs on you. You’ll lose your hair, your teeth, your knife will fall out of its sheath. But you still don’t like to leave before the end of the movie.

Verse 2: People you hate will get their hooks into you. They’ll pull you down. You’ll frown. They’ll tar you and drag you through town. But you still don’t like to leave before the end of the movie.

No, you still don’t like to leave before the end of the show.
Track Name: Charade
Verse 1: I don’t know if there’s a god above, but if there is you’ve got explainin’ to do. And I don’t know if He’s a god of love, but if he is he ain’t the one you’re prayin’ to. You lied in his name, my love and faith betrayed. You lied in his name. But I ain’t blinded by your charade.

Verse 2: I ain’t perfect, I ain’t even good, but I can feel when something’s wrong or right. And even when I don’t do all I should, well I can tell the darkness from the light. You lied in his name, and you should be ashamed. Causing all this pain. We both know that you are to blame.

Verse 3: I don’t know if there’s a Second Coming, I don’t even know if there was a first. But if there is, and I’ve got somethin’ coming, I can tell ya you will have it worse. You lied in his name. Revelations full of hate. With hands clenched in fists of rage, you prophesied and lied in his name.